Sometimes I think that maybe I don't particularly like being "conventionally" happy because I don't know what to do with happiness.
I mean, you don't come across many self-help books like "What to do With Happiness" or "How to Deal with Your Happy Teen", because apparently joy is a great thing. A normal thing. People get depression, and it's a disease, but happiness? Happiness is just an instinctively desired condition, a sign of health.
But I'm so accustomed to functioning on a brain washed in shades of blue and red and all the purples in between, that the warm colors are just awkward and exposing.
And somehow I don't think that's a sin. Maybe it's just me.
I can be in the blues and reds and purples, and rest in the greens and browns, but I don't have to climb up to the oranges and yellows to be a healthy human being.
I don't have to be a person. I can be feelings.