I don't know.
I've been busy.
In four days, I need $400.
Today is for me. I'm not going to be anxious today.
I feel like there's a space between God and me. Maybe I'm listening to Him, maybe I'm following His will, but when I go to pray, I have to cross a chasm. Like we're running two separate roads. And they're mostly parallel. I'm just not close enough.
I can't imagine the lives other people live. That's not what I want to say. I don't know how to say what I want to say. I can't imagine how other people live. I want to say, "without God", but that would make God sound optional, like me believing makes Him real to me and only me.
And when I step back, I can understand why an outsider would be repulsed by "Christianity". Because "Christianity" is so much about the "church" nowadays, and when you get a bunch of human beings together and make it the definition of Christianity, you're going to have problems.
I hate to sound cliche, but your relationship with the one and only God is yours. Yours. Not the church's.
That was rambling. But that's okay, because this is for me. Not you.